Disability Travel in India: The Best Exotic Grand Imperial Hotel

[Anna York]

It's a Good Idea to Book Early!

I was a bit late in booking my hotels during the high tourist season in India, a mistake that launched us into unexpected adventure. With all the five-star hotels full, we found ourselves in the Grand Imperial Hotel in Agra for two nights while visiting the Taj Mahal. About a hundred years ago the Grand Imperial must have been a truly grand place--but that was a hundred years ago. Today it is a shadow of its former self, wrinkled like an old call girl but putting on make-up and a brave face as it slowly sinks further into old age.

 Our room was cute and quaint, boasting features modern hotels lack. We encountered the first of these when were handed a large brass key on checking in. The outward swinging double doors on our room were fitted with a fist-sized brass lock with a sliding security bar—delightfully colorful and quaint! But it took us ten minutes and aid from the bellman to get it open! Inside the first set of doors was another set that swung inward and also had its own sliding brass bars to secure the doors from the inside. This was a heritage hotel. We grabbed our bags and stepped through the door to adventure.

Taking a look around, we spied the 1960’s style tube TV that took up an entire large desk. A quick test revealed it was for looks only, not for watching. The beds were no doubt sensual with elaborate hangings once upon a time, but now the carved poles stuck up in the air unashamedly naked, leaving everything to the imagination. Lacking closet space, we used the bed posts to hang our clothes.

 An attempted call to the front desk revealed that we had three phones in the room--and none of them worked! We went down and told the desk, and soon there was a long parade of people coming to work on the phones. Indians try very hard to please their guests, and they work very hard to fix any problems. Sometimes they go a little overboard. One time we had four people chattering away in concerned tones and plugging cords in and out of outlets. The men worked for an hour before dinner, and then they came back and did a lot more testing for two hours after dinner. They were not always in the room, but they kept making test calls. The phone would go ring, ring, ring and I would pick it up and it would go buzz, buzz, buzz, then I would put it down and it would go ring, ring ring. Over and over, ring ring ring, buzz, buzz,buzz, ring, ring ring. I honestly did see a great deal of humor in the situation, but humor begins to fade after a long day in Indian traffic, thinking that you may die at any moment by hitting a cow. Finally, in my pajamas and ready for bed, I defensively unplugged all the phones. Never fear! Indian service to the rescue once again, knocking loudly on the door. I said, "Please, no more phone calls!”  But now it was a matter of national pride to fix the phones, so they came in and plugged them all back in again. Once more, ring, ring, ring, buzz, buzz, buzz, ring, ring, ring. I determined that that next attempt would be the last! Sure enough, ten minutes later, with eyelids heavy as bricks, I picked up the receiver. No buzz! “Hullo,” I said in disbelief. A staticy voice said, “Madam, we are glad to inform you that your phones are working.” The national pride was saved!

 But that was only one adventure in the Grand Imperial Hotel.  There was a very large and very noisy wedding party outside our room on the lawn. It got louder and louder as the night went on and ended with fireworks. The fireworks were going off while we were trying to figure out the light switches.  Indian hotel rooms always have about 25 to 30 electrical switches, some of them for the various lights in the room and a couple for each electrical outlet. At the Grand Imperial, we simply could not figure out how to get the lights to work at the right time, in the right way. There were some we couldn't get to go on and some we couldn't get to go off. Don was running back and forth across the room in his underwear, poking different switches. Finally, when he poked one, a loud BOOM!  of fireworks went off. Don jumped up in the air and shouted, and all the lights in the room switched on and off a few times all by themselves. By this time we were laughing so hard we collapsed on the bed in tears.

 But that was not the last adventure in the Grand Imperial Hotel! I reached for the toilet paper and the toilet paper dispenser fell apart on the floor. I got in the bath tub and grabbed the grab bar, which broke off and fell dangling into the tub. It was obvious it had been fixed many times before. Then, when I went to dry after my shower, I reached for a towel and it felt like a Brillo pot scrubber. I suddenly remembered the people I had seen washing their laundry in the river and drying it on the mud banks, not too far away from where the water buffaloes were wallowing. It seems that the people doing their laundry at the river might have been working for the hotel!

 We stayed for two nights in the Grand Imperial Hotel. In comparison, the other hotels we stayed in were quite luxurious--but none was as fun and entertaining. The only really big problem was that I picked up some kind of intestinal bug while we there that stayed with me through most of our trip. I called it the Grand Imperial Bug (GIB) since it had several symptoms characteristic of our stay there. It flashed on and off spontaneously, looked like river mud and occasionally went BOOM!

 At the end of the day, while the Grand Imperial was entertaining, our stay there highlights the need to make reservations in advance if you are traveling with a disability. I was able bodied enough to deal with the broken grab bar and other inconveniences, but I could have had a serious accident. There is adventure enough in just making the trip. I recommend planning ahead and having a nice stay at the Sheraton!

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